Mindful Insights Feedback

I get heaps of positive feedback from people who subscribe to my 52 week mentoring service called Mindful Insights. Below is a recent example.

Hi John
Regarding Mindful Insight week 41, you wanted to know my definition of mindful practice. My definition of mindful practice is to let your heart, mind and spirit be constantly open, accepting life in a mindful way and being able to silence yourself when necessary. I use mindful practice every day. Whenever my mind starts to wonder, I say a little prayer and then return back to the present. I don’t take my phone anymore with me when I leave the house for shopping or out catching up with friends. If I have visitors, my phone is on silent in my bedroom so I can be present with my guests.
The first thing I do every morning is be grateful for being alive and healthy, grateful for all I have and grateful my family is good. Before I hop into the shower, I always take a look outside my back window and look at nature. It always puts a smile on my face, seeing the weather, the birds and the large dam that I back onto. Rainy days don’t make me sad, I actually love them because it brings everything to life. I water my vegetable garden before I go to work, it gives me a sense of peace watching my vegetables grow daily. In summer, I never wear foot wear in my front or back yard, as I love to feel the grass under my feet.
I feel a lot calmer in myself. I appreciate all nature now, I even take out spiders from the house and place them in the grass or garden these days. I have even converted my husband into doing this. Driving to and from work, it is an hour drive each way, I am present in the way that I either appreciate the sun shining through the car window or I appreciate the rain landing on my front window. Whenever it is raining, I always have a tendency to walk in the rain to feel the drops onto my skin, everyone thinks I am mad but I love the feel of being alive.
I am mindful when I cook as I now do it with patience and love. I always do my cleaning with pleasure. I do love cleaning though. And I make sure when entertaining that I am 100% present and enjoy and give out as much love and presence as I can. I now no longer judge people like I used to and being mindful allows me to respond rather than react. I always make sure when I am at the supermarket, that I go to a checkout where there is a person at the register. I always answer them if they ask how I am and I always ask them how they are and I listen to their answer.
Whenever I went swimming, I did lots overseas, I felt the cold water as I slowly walked into the ocean, noticing the saltiness on my skin as I dried in the sun. I sat there, watching the families around me playing in the ocean, noticing the warmth on my skin, the noise around me and the smell of the ocean. I do tend to stop lately, pause and soak up all the atmosphere around me when I am out and about.
I am so grateful for this course as I know I am now a completely different person and everyone can see the big change in me.
Kind Regards – Carmen

In My Certificate Course, You’ll Learn How to:

  • Tune into the deep intuitive wisdom that lies within you
  • Embrace new and exciting change in an empowering way
  • Overcome the false beliefs that people and society have embedded in you
  • Awaken to the power of merging the brain and the heart to make decisions that are true and meaningful
  • Build positive and loving relationships
  • Solve existing problems in your relationships
  • Learn mindfulness mentoring skills to help others
  • Create pathways to a life of happiness and abundance
  • And so much more!

More info about my 1 year mentoring service here. Mindfully Yours – John Shearer MM

True Mindfulness

True mind·ful·ness is a mental state achieved by focusing our awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment. True mindfulness is characterised mainly by acceptance of our thoughts and feelings without judging whether they are right or wrong. True mindfulness focuses our mind on what is being sensed moment-by-moment, rather than ruminating on the past or the future. The ‘ful’ in mindfulness means being fully present.

My all time favourite definition is from 2009 when I trained to be an ACT Therapist with Dr Russ Harris [writer of The Happiness Trap (which I highly recommend)]:

“Mindfulness is a transformative mental state of awareness which involves focusing our attention with flexibility, openness, and curiosity.”

This simple definition tells us three important things:

  1. mindfulness is a process of awareness, not thinking. It involves paying attention to our experience in this moment as opposed to being caught up in thoughts. In a mindful state, we can let difficult thoughts and feelings freely flow through us, without getting all caught up in them or pushed around by them, and without getting into a struggle with them.
  2. mindfulness involves a particular attitude: one of openness and curiosity. Even if our experience in this moment is difficult, painful or unpleasant, we can be open to and curious about it instead of running from, fighting with or trying to avoid it. [eg: with alcohol or drugs (legal or illegal)]
  3. mindfulness involves flexibility of attention: the ability to consciously direct, broaden or focus attention on different aspects of experience. We can use mindfulness to ‘wake up,’ connect with ourselves and appreciate the fullness of each moment of life. We can use it to improve our self-knowledge – to learn more about how we feel, think and react. We can use it to connect deeply and intimately with the people we care about, including ourselves. And we can use it to consciously influence our own behaviour and increase our range of responses to the world we inhabit. It is the actions of living consciously – a profound way to enhance psychological resilience and increase life satisfaction.

Why not make up your own definition of mindfulness? My definition changes all the time, yours will too! Here is a couple of examples: Mindfulness is the defused, accepting, non-judgemental contact with the here and now. Mindful practice is pausing with awareness throughout the day and connecting to life and beyond with calm presence. Being mindful helps us to reflect on the mind from a different perspective, to make choice and change possible. Put simply, mindfulness is bringing awareness to the present moment with kindness!

Get started with a true mindful practice. Several times a day is best, especially when you notice that your mind is far away or notice your inner voice being negative or unhelpful. It’s not something that you make time for, it only takes a few seconds to Be Mindful… Pause… and Connect!

Yours in Awareness Always! – John Shearer MM

 

 

Love Your Addictions by Dr Wayne Dyer

This excerpt is from Dr Wayne Dyer’s book Being in Balance.

Our proclivity toward addictive behaviours subsides measurably as we begin to practice reconnecting to our Source of being. Many books have been written on the subject of overcoming addictions. There are countless rehabilitation programs and centres to help those who are caught in the grip of drugs, alcohol, food, caffeine, sex, gambling, or something else that fits the description of chasing after what we don’t want.

I support any program designed to help people escape this imbalanced cycle that is such a destroyer of lives. My contribution here is a brief description of the key points I’ve found extremely useful in becoming an addiction-free person. The following five thoughts helped interrupt my out-of-balance thinking and behavior. Practiced with honesty and integrity, they can contribute to a new sense of empowerment and well-being that allows you to be free of unwanted addictions.

1. It’s All about Realignment

This is number one because when you really practice it, you never want to pursue what you don’t want at the expense of what you do want. You long to be in harmony, and you desire well-being. You came from well-being, so you simply need to choose thoughts that align with that foundation to find your way back into alignment.

Practice praying silently as a steady background whenever and wherever you can. Personalize and vary prayers such as this example derived from the St. Francis Prayer: Make me an instrument of thy well-being. See yourself always summoning the energy of well-being from your spiritual Source. Think like an animal who would never think of pursuing what it doesn’t want. Why don’t birds chase after butterflies? Because they’re poisonous. Ever heard of a robin in therapy trying to overcome its desire to eat butterflies? Silly, yes, but it’s a helpful image to hook onto.

So think like a human being with well-being. Eventually you’ll think like the Divine soul that you are, and you’ll be in vibrational harmony with the well-being that is your very nature.

2. Love Your Addictions

If it’s food, love it. If it’s cocaine, love it. If it’s painkillers, love them. If it’s cigarettes, love them. These are some of your greatest teachers. They’ve taught you through direct experience what it is that you no longer wish to be. They’ve taken you to the depths for some reason. This is an intelligent system you’re a part of. There are no accidents in a Universe supported by omniscience and omnipotence. Be grateful for these teachers.

If you hate them, curse them, and attempt to fight these addictions, you tip the balance toward hatred and fighting. You then continue to chase after what you don’t want because you’re in a weakened state. Fighting weakens; love empowers.

So tip the scale toward love. Be grateful for the addictions that have taught you so much. Send them a silent blessing. By doing so, you shift toward the love that you are.

3. Love Yourself

This is the natural outgrowth of choosing to love your addictions. Think of your body as a sacred temple, and extend reverence as a form of love. Be aware of, and grateful for, every organ, every drop of blood, every appendage, and every cell that constitutes your body. Start right this minute by offering a silent prayer of gratitude for your liver, your heart, and your brain. Just say: Thank you, God, for this glorious gift. I treasure it, and with your help, today I will begin the process of loving it unconditionally. If you still feel attracted to substances that you despise, say this silent prayer before ingesting them. Love will ultimately become the added weight that rebalances your life.

One of my favorite American poets, Henry W. Longfellow, tells us: “He that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.” When we truly respect and love ourselves, it’s as if we have a shield of flexible armor made of metal rings and loops of chain that protects us from the addictive otherthat’s been a part of our life.

4. Remove All Shame

You’ve done nothing wrong. You haven’t failed—you’ve only produced results. The question isn’t about how bad you’ve been; it’s about what you intend to do with the results you’ve produced. If you opt for shame and guilt, you choose the one emotional reaction that will disempower you more than any other. Whatever your present-moment status in relation to your addictions, it’s all perfect. You had to go through the traumas you went through. You had to disappoint the people you’ve mistreated. You had to get this far down. You needed this out-of-balance energy in order to aid you in generating the energy to get you to the higher place where you’re now headed.

You are still a Divine being in the eyes of God, despite any weaknesses that you feel are incongruous with God’s love. You needed all of those experiences, and now that you’re contemplating leaving them behind and rejoining your spiritual Source of well-being, shame will only hamper you and send you back to that absurdly imbalanced world where you never get enough of what you don’t want.

5. Live from a New Knowing

Finally, create a space within yourself, somewhere very private that only you and God are privy to. In this inner space, post the words I Know. This is your invisible connection to God, where purity and well-being define your new addiction-free self. Regardless of how many people distrust you and remind you of how many times in the past you’ve failed to live up to your promises, this is your space of knowing.

From this unshakable space, ask for Divine guidance. Ask to have the ecstatic energy of purity and well-being flow directly to your heart. If you slip, retreat immediately to this space of knowing. Forgive yourself and see yourself surrounded by God’s love, holding you in balance once again. As a man who has been there, I can promise you that you’ll be provided with all of the guidance, direction, and strength that you need—and you’ll get what you do want rather than what you do not want.

Note from John Shearer – Be Mindful… Pause… Connect! The power of mindfulness is in the pause. We connect with where we are in the present moment. We also connect with those around us with full presence, and most importantly, with our Source Energy. Thank you to the late Dr Wayne W Dyer!

What is a Mood Disorder Anyway?

‘Bipolar’ people are attracted to me. Why? Because I have lived experience with this disorder. Please keep my mentoring service in mind if you have a friend or family who wishes to regain mood order in their lives. Subscription to my 12 month mentoring service costs only Au$15 per fortnight and includes regular phone, skype or messenger chats. I have a few spots available now with a few more available soon as people get their certificate. More info here.
Mindfully Yours with Love & Gratitude Always 💙

How to Show Love and Respect to Yourself

Mindfulness is all about noticing and awareness. This is an excerpt from the late Dr Wayne Dyer’s book, 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace.
“By becoming more loving toward yourself, you will attract more of the higher, faster energies and begin to change what’s inside you. In your thoughts, cultivate an inner voice and attitude that’s 100 percent of the time for you. Imagine an aspect of yourself that only supports and loves you. You might schedule a certain time of the day when that’s the only thought that you allow yourself to pay attention to! Gradually this attitude will extend to other people even if you can only do it for a minute or two. You’ll begin to receive this energy back and ultimately be able to send thoughts of love and joy to everyone and everything in your world. Notice when your thoughts drift into the lower energy of ridicule or hate or guilt, and change the thought at that very moment if at all possible. If you’re unable to change the thought, then at least love yourself for what you did do… that is, for noticing.
Make a pact to remind yourself often of this secret of not being able to give away anything you don’t have. Then work on your personal program of self-love, self-respect, and self-empowerment, and create a huge inventory of what you wish to give away.
One of the lessons I continue to learn and practice is that the universe responds with the same energy that we send out. If you attract a lot of people who wish to take advantage of you, you need to consider what you’re doing to attract victimizers into your life. If you run into anger a lot, explore the angry thoughts you have inside you. If your consciousness is a “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” energy, you’ll attract all manner of demanding energies into your life. You know if this is true by the number of deadlines not being met, demanding bosses or customers you encounter, and the feeling of being a victim. Send out “Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!” energy to the universe, and it will do the same in return.
If what you give is self-respect and self-love, the universe, via the attractor energy, will return the love and respect you’ve been radiating. It’s really so simple. You can’t give away what you don’t have.”

Be Mindful… Pause… Connect! Yours in Awareness Always! – John

Mindfulness in Education Summit

Please share this important Mindfulness in Education Summit with teachers or parents with school children. The Summit features 25 experts in the field of mindfulness from researchers to authors to teachers and educators. Learn about the strategies and tools needed as well as finding a range of resources and more to help you become more mindful and help children to develop that mindfulness too! And the good news is that I am one of the speakers! Love & Gratitude Always! – John
Follow this link for further info: Mindfulness in Education Summit

20 Lies We Tell Ourselves Daily

20 Lies We Tell Ourselves Daily

  1. “I have no choice.” One of the biggest lies is the belief that there are no options. Even people in terrible circumstances such as concentration camps, false imprisonment, and severe abuse have options in what they absorb, believe, and accept as truth.
  2. “I’ll never love again.” When a heart is broken, a person believes that they will never find love again. But love isn’t something you catch, it is something you give. The only limitation in loving is the one a person places on themselves.
  3. “I’ll never be good enough.” This is another lie that is rooted in trauma between the ages of two and five. Healing from this trauma and restating the reverse can resolve this lie.
  4. “That didn’t happen.” Denial is the most powerful defence mechanism because it can erase a traumatic moment as if it never happened. The problem is that whatever is denied becomes a haunting, magically appearing out of nowhere and causing destruction.
  5. “It wasn’t that bad.” Minimising difficult circumstances sounds good initially because there is some acknowledgement of the problem. However, dismissing intense feelings reinforces stuffing them which leads to explosions later.
  6. “It was the worst thing ever.” Making a mountain out of a mole hill is equally problematic. By increasing the size of an event, thought, or feeling, they can become larger than life.
  7. “I handled that well.” When the only counsel a person has is their own self, they tend to believe their version of what happened. Getting outside perspective and feedback from others improves self-awareness.
  8. “I’m worthless.” This particular statement is usually the result of some trauma between the ages of six and twelve. Unresolved pain can lead to a lifetime of suffering.
  9. “I’m the dumbest person.” This belief originated from someone else. It could be a parent, teacher, friend, student, or partner who repeated this until it was wrongly absorbed as truth.
  10. “No one can ever love me.” Hidden shame, grief, or guilt causes a person to believe that they are unlovable. Bringing the issue out in the open resolves this quickly.
  11. “Life isn’t worth living.” Every life has good and bad times, times of peace and war, and times of joy and sorrow. What makes the good, peaceful, and joyful times so wonderful is the contrast to the bad, warring, and sorrowful times.
  12. “I didn’t do anything wrong.” While a person’s actions might be correct, the thoughts behind it might not be. Self-awareness looks for ways to improve, not to escape responsibility.
  13. “It’s all my fault.” Accepting unnecessary responsibility for a trauma, event, or circumstance removes the accountability of others. This can be very damaging for their own growth and development.
  14. “I have no self-control.” This is used to diminish a person’s responsibility for behaviour that is problematic. Addicts frequently say this so they can justify their poor decisions.
  15. “It’s not my fault I reacted that way.” By casting blame on others for the poor reaction, a person falsely dismisses their responsibility while simultaneously holding others accountable.
  16. “I can’t help it.” As soon as a person says this, they have limited their choices to a few poor options. Just by saying the reverse, a person can open themselves up to more possibilities.
  17. “I have to have …” The sentence can be completed with a person, thing, money, or circumstance. Ironically, even when these items are obtained, there is a transfer to the next big item instead of finding satisfaction from within.
  18. “If only I had done …” The assumption of “if only” statements is that things could be different if they had responded another way. This is not always the case; sometimes the end result would still be the same regardless of the “if only”.
  19. “I’m not good at anything.” Being good at something requires effort. Talent will only take a person so far, the rest is all hard-work.
  20. “I have no purpose/passion/mission.” One of the lies of our society is that everyone needs to find their purpose/passion/mission in order to live life fully. A person can have a very full life while discovering their passion. Often this is not realised until a person is at the end of their career, not at the beginning.

Do any of these sound familiar? When these type of thoughts drop into your mind…
Be Mindful – This is the key thought we use to give our mind an instruction to…
Pause – We quieten our mind for a few seconds, as we do this, we…
Connect! – We connect with where we are using our five senses. We connect with who we’re with (with full presence). Most importantly, we connect with our Source Energy using our sixth sense or intuition.
If you are struggling with your thoughts, contact me to schedule a single one-on-one session. That’s all it takes to get your true mindful practice off to a flying start.
Mindfully Yours with Awareness Always! 🙏 John

Life Advice from People Over Sixty

Recently, a question was posed to those over the age of 60. The question was this: “What advice would you give to those who are half your age?” While the question seems simple, the answers may surprise you…

  1. People always say, “Make sure you get a job doing what you love!” But that isn’t the best advice. The right job is the job you love some days, can tolerate most days, and still pays the bills. Almost nobody has a job they love every day.
  2. Years go by in the blink of an eye. Don’t marry young. Live your life. Go places. Do things. If you have the means or not. Pack a bag and go wherever you can afford to go. While you have no dependants, don’t buy stuff. Any stuff. See the world. Look through travel magazines and pick a spot. Go!
  3. Don’t take life so seriously. Even if things seem dark and hopeless, try to laugh at how ridiculous life is.
  4. A true friend will come running if you call them at 2am; everyone else is just an acquaintance.
  5. The most important person in your life is the person who agreed to share their life with you. Treat them as such.
  6. Children grow up way too fast. Make the most of the time you have with them.
  7. Nobody ever dies wishing they had worked more… Work hard, but don’t prioritise work over family, friends, or even yourself.
  8. You might live a long life, or you might live a short one – who knows. But either way, trust me when I say that you’re going to wish you took better care of yourself in your youth.
  9. If you’re getting overwhelmed by life, just return to the immediate present moment and savour all that is beautiful and comforting. Take a deep breath, relax.
  10. Eat and exercise like you’re a diabetic heart patient with a stroke – so you never actually become one.
  11. We have one time on this earth. Don’t wake up and realise that you are 60 years old and haven’t done the things you dreamed about.
  12. Maybe this one isn’t as profound as the others, but I think it’s important… Floss regularly, dental problems are awful.
  13. Don’t take anyone else’s advice as truth. You can ask for advice from someone you respect, then take your situation into consideration and make your own decision. Essentially, take your own advice is my advice…
  14. Stuff is just stuff. Don’t hold onto material objects, hold onto time and experiences instead.
  15. The joints you damage today will get their revenge later. Even if you think they’ve recovered completely. Trust me!
  16. I would say to appreciate the small things and to be present in the moment. What do I mean? Well, it seems today that younger people are all about immediate gratification. Instead, why not appreciate each moment? We don’t get to stay on this crazy/wonderful planet forever and the greatest pleasure can be found in the most mundane of activities. Instead of sending a text, pick up the phone and call someone. Call your mother, have a conversation about nothing in particular. Those are the moments to hold onto.
  17. Pay your bills and stay the hell out of debt. If I could have paid myself all the money I’ve paid out in interest over the years, I’d be retired already.
  18. Jealousy destroys relationships. Trust your significant other, because who else are you supposed to trust?
  19. If you have a dream of being or doing something that seems impossible, go for it anyway. It will only become more impossible as you age and become responsible for other people.
  20. When you meet someone for the first time, stop and realise that you really know nothing about them. You see race, gender, age, clothes. Forget it all. You know nothing. Those biased assumptions that pop into your head because of the way your brain likes categories, are limiting your life, and other people’s lives.

True Essence of Mindfulness

This two minute clip by Jon Kabat-Zinn explains the true essence of mindfulness. The following snippet is from my mentoring service Mindful Insights:

True mind·ful·ness (2017) – A mental state achieved by focusing our awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging our thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and surrounding environment. True mindfulness is characterised mainly by acceptance of our thoughts and feelings without judging whether they are right or wrong. True mindfulness focuses our mind on what is being sensed moment-by-moment, rather than ruminating on the past or the future. The ‘ful’ in mindfulness means being fully present.

My all time favourite definition is from 2009 when I trained to be an ACT Therapist with Dr Russ Harris [writer of The Happiness Trap (which I highly recommend)]:

“Mindfulness is a transformative mental state of awareness which involves focusing our attention with flexibility, openness, and curiosity.”

This simple definition tells us three important things:

  1. mindfulness is a process of awareness, not thinking. It involves paying attention to our experience in this moment as opposed to being caught up in thoughts. In a mindful state, we can let difficult thoughts and feelings freely flow through us, without getting all caught up in them or pushed around by them, and without getting into a struggle with them.
  2. mindfulness involves a particular attitude: one of openness and curiosity. Even if our experience in this moment is difficult, painful or unpleasant, we can be open to and curious about it instead of running from, fighting with or trying to avoid it. [eg: with alcohol or drugs (legal or illegal)]
  3. mindfulness involves flexibility of attention: the ability to consciously direct, broaden or focus attention on different aspects of experience. We can use mindfulness to ‘wake up,’ connect with ourselves and appreciate the fullness of each moment of life. We can use it to improve our self-knowledge – to learn more about how we feel, think and react. We can use it to connect deeply and intimately with the people we care about, including ourselves. And we can use it to consciously influence our own behaviour and increase our range of responses to the world we inhabit. It is the actions of living consciously – a profound way to enhance psychological resilience and increase life satisfaction.

Be Mindful… Pause… Connect! Yours in Awareness Always! – John